Children in divorce
Many of our clients tell us that they feel happier after they see a Relate counsellor and are better able to deal with their problems. Counselling is also available for children. It’s for any young person who’s having problems. Whether it’s depression and mental health concerns or issues with parents or people at school. Your child might be experiencing problems at school, arguments with their parents, anxious over parents’ divorce or generally not feeling like themselves.
Counselling lets children talk about how they feel, enables them to separate from school and home life and can help them get back to enjoying life. They can expect to be helped by a supportive and non-judgmental counsellor either at a local Relate centre near their home, or a counsellor in school. A child can be referred by a teacher, social worker, or they can ask to see a counsellor themselves – what they say is confidential unless the counsellor is worried for their safety. In some cases, the counsellor can help them to concentrate better at school or college, or get on better with their friends and family.
This year FM Family Law is celebrating 5 years of providing relationship breakdown and divorce advice to our clients, bringing together over 40 years of combined professional experience in our lawyers.
To mark FM Family Law’s 5 year anniversary we have enabled some Relate counselling sessions for children dealing with their parents’ divorce.
To find out more about Counselling with Relate, whether that be for yourself or your child, and to organise an appointment call to speak to Relate 0300 100 1234.
Separation and children
If you have experienced relationship breakdown, you will know how hard it can be. For a child, experiencing their parents separating can be equally upsetting and confusing. As family lawyers, sadly we see situations every day where children are struggling to cope with their parents’ divorce. What can parents do to help?
The most important thing for children to know is that both their parents love them and that will not change just because they are not together anymore.
For almost every child, it will be the case that they will be happier now and in the future if they have had the benefit of a positive relationship with both of their parents. Parents can help with this by doing all they can to maintain a respectful relationship with the other parent.
Telling your child about your separation together can be a good place to start. This should reassure your child that you will still work together as parents, despite your differences.
Give your child information which is appropriate to their age and understanding. Children do not need to know about adult issues, including the details of exactly why you are choosing to end your relationship.
Many children will have lots of worries when they are told their parents are separating. Some of these will be about how things will change for them and some of them will be concerns for their parents, for example ‘where will daddy live’ and ‘will you be lonely if I am not there’. Make sure your children know that can speak to both of you at any time about any worries they have and reassure them that everything will be ok as you as parents are working together to solve things.
As parents, it is vital you find a way to communicate with each other for your children’s benefit. If you are having problems with communication, consider whether a joint mediation meeting might help you discuss issues and come to joint decisions about your children’s care. Some parents find it helpful to put together a parenting plan, which can include a summary of your children’s care arrangements, what you expect from each other as parents and how you will communicate about issues in the future.
If you have separated and want to discuss any issues concerning your children’s care arrangements and the time they will spend with their parents, please contact us.